even if you think you're dying you'd better keep it together in the presence of others or they'll fucking eat you alive

i will never hurt you, not like the way you hurt me.

maybe you should exchange places with me, and stick your feet into my shoes for just one minute, one hour, one day. then you'll understand how i feel.

i can't believe how stupid i am, to allow you to abuse (figurative) me once, twice, so many times, it's uncountable. i wonder why, or how i can stand this crap you shove into my face.

i promised myself so many times, to end all of this bullshit. but i still come crawling back on my knees.

why are you fucking with my brain? why me?! or maybe, i should not feel like i've been singled out, because i don't feel like people even see me at all sometimes, like i'm invisible, and they treat me like i have no feelings.

sometimes, i wish i had no feelings. life would be so much more easier to deal with.

i'm constantly worried, perpertually jumping from one emotion to the next, and trying to keep myself happy and high really drains my energy. what if i run out of this so called 'energy'? what will i become of?

i don't like feeling like a ticking time bomb. and the one person i really want to talk to won't exactly be able to help.

i try so hard to love you, but you never appreciate this.

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i admit it, i still point-blank hate you for ruining this for me, and thank you for beating me in every aspect, now i know that hope's not a very good thing for losers like me.

so now, you know you defeated me. please fucking leave me alone, and stop ruining my life. please, i'm begging you.

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God, please give me something to look forward to in life.

i miss you so freaking much, that's all i can say.