vampires and werewolves will avenge my death, and stop spiking my punch with apathy

i feel it all slipping away, and i feel like i'm back to square one.

:( i hate this. i am sad, angry, spiteful, paranoid, hurt all over again.

sometimes, i feel like i should delete all the angsty songs in my iPod. they don't exactly help, not when they're blared very loudly into your ears, then you start feeling like i can relate to this and you put on a very mean scowl and start hating and cursing the world.

but i love my angsty songs. and i hate ajeic938081jcue even though i'm not supposed to. :/ sometimes, i wish i could just let it go, and leave it at that. but you're not helping me, you're a constant reminder to everything.

if i could push all these negative thoughts out of my brains.

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sometimes, i wish it could be just like before, way before. things would have never gotten so complicated, and people's opinion of me would never change. or maybe, if i could turn back time, i would handle things differently.

i would never have done anything to hurt anyone. i am selfish, i admit. i am a conniving little biatch, and i know i am fucked up inside.

but i don't even know who i am inside, and who i want to be.

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i miss q. you were the only source of hope in my life then. i know i'm not special enough to have room in your heart. but all i'm requesting for is for you to remember me, and know that i'm ALWAYS your friend. i'll always be here for you. please don't ever doubt me. =( i wish things were like before, q! i love you (gh3y) and know that i'll be praying for you to change.

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anyway, i shall blog about happy stuff today, enough of the sad nonsense.

BTW, HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY TO YILING AND ___. (better love me, woman. i advertising for free)

had 2.4, which was alright, in my opinion. i thought i would totally fail, but i pulled through. i didn't check the timing though, but i'm very sure i passed. :) i remember during the run, i felt like i was going to fall down and faint. but i tried to do what grace always does, and that is to encourage others. i think i ended up screaming at shirlynn and vanessa (sorry, i was very agitated, i hate seeing effort go to waste).

and then i saw something very sweet on my table. thanks loads, grace! :) :) :) :)

after that, i vaguely remember a chem quiz, and then lingyu, khairiah, marlia, mary, melody and i went to dental in cedar primary. mdm tan, the dentist is super nice and friendly. i aspire to be a dentist someday (not really).

after school, i went to lingyu's house to drink, eat, sleep (in that order, which is why i am fat). and then had tuition, which was super funny. mr ho made us laugh, and that speed guy is very cute lah.

my tooth aches, i think mdm tan poked me a tad too hard. :(