everything we had, it was all set on false pretense

The world's got a funny way of turning 'round on you
When a friend tries to stab you right in the face
Losing faith in everything I thought I hoped I knew
Don't sweat it, it was set on false pretense

-

our friendship was never strong from the start, shaky with no proper foundation. like a concrete house, built on stilts. we're wavering, vulnerable to floods, earthquakes and hurricanes.

once you step over the boundary, it's over. we'll topple and collapse, right into the frothing waves, churning. awaiting their time to pull us down, yank our ankles into the deep blue jaws of the cruel ocean we call life.

here, we are left to fend for ourselves. you either make it, or die. survival of the fittest.

i found a boat, and clambered on. i put my hand out to save you. and when you get on board, you pushed me off.

i feel betrayed, i feel lost, scared, and i'm growing faint.

i feel like i'm drowning, suffocating, asphyxiated from everything. my resistance slips, i let go of the plank i held onto for my (not so) dear life, and i'm back to square one, struggling to keep my head above the water.

i really can't take this anymore.

i hate you, i really do.
please stop ruining my life, that's all i'm asking for.

just ignore this post, like you always do.
i'm sure i'll be fine. someday

i have no one to confide in, the people i know are either 1) having problems of their own or 2) i can't seem to find the right words to say to make people understand, and i know people are quick to judge. i don't want to feel like a loser, or be a loser in their eyes. and maybe i can add 3) they are not worth telling