the bruises on your cheek, another medal you have to wear for a week

i try hard, i really do. but it's just not enough for you, i guess.

Killing me
Might be the only chance you have of recovery
And I know it's so severe
As you knew it would be
Your punishment it fits your crime

So let's take this knife and run it down your chest
Does this feel like love?
Here we are waiting

at times, it gets so bad, i feel like i have no direction in life at all. i don't know whether i'm progressing or deteoriating, whether i'm moving forward or lagging behind. the emo moments, they seem to have disappeared, but when they come back, i know that they're gonna sweep me off my feet and leave me feeling more broken than before. i cry, yes, i do. but i try to keep my spirits high up as much as possible.

i'm tired, because i feel like i'm being robbed of every single thing that matters. and i'm tired of trying to outrun this. trying, and failing, because i'm exhausted. my stamina's down, i'm not immune to pain, because i am human.

and at times, being human isn't good. a bit more hard hearted, and the less pain you'll feel.

-

fish & co was fun, and so was ben and jerry's, with ryan and ram. i hope cheryl likes the purple and blue picture frame that khairiah, lingyu and some other people bought, cos we spent ages choosing it. it cost quite a bit lah. and i think waddling in the water in school u was fun. the sappy love songs, and weird sing-alongs.

i really have to get speakers. i want to watch some live performances on youtube. and my little britain episodes (some people reminded me). the computer says no!

maybe i should get a haircut (random), i feel the hole in my pocket. dangggg, goodbye 70$, hello dragonforce :) i still want a rolling stones tee, and a little miss fun/naughty tee, and also a pair of havainas (? spelling error bah), and some necklace with an electric guitar on it. i am so typical.

i know, i should shut up. this is getting random, but i'm sad. chungchishun will entertain me. he is an asshole, nobody calls a girl 'big boob' or 'betty' (as in betty boop and ugly betty?). stupid vagina cunt face, my boobs aren't big.

4th may - kel's bday
5th may - cheryl lee/ramdan's bday
20th may - dragonforce
3rd june - anberlin/copeland
15-17th june - red rain?
7th july - CHMA
26-27 july - arts tapestry
aug - baybeats

in between, many many gigs. phwoar.

ryan! is cool. cheer up, pwetty pwease!