this is a .44 caliber love letter, straight from my heart

i feel like i've let everyone who matters down.

but i can't promise you i won't do it again. it's so much more simpler than feeling. you probably think i'm mad, but it's not an attempt for anything.

i'm just trying to cope. and is that wrong?

{enough of the self defence}

i'm sick of myself. i really hate that girl in the mirror, sometimes i feel she should just die. i don't want to battle self-esteem issues and all that other crap right now. i hate the superficial world, i hate how being thin is in. so what if you're not thin?

did i ever tell you, how i want all the ugly people dead? ugly people should all die, because they're all suffering right now. i hate being ugly, it takes away your right to do anything.

just another wasted desire

i am so frustrated, angry, tired, exhausted, the list goes on. people don't like sad/angry/depressed people who never smile. and i know, because i never liked me that much. i promise to try to smile and be happy. i won't let those silly things get me down...again.

but you know it's going to happen, right?

smile smile smile. i believe, i am happy. HA HA HA i can laugh at the world, i am filled with excitement, enthusiasm. exhilarated! jubilant.

the number of happy words in my dictionary should exceed the number of sad, angry, depressed, moody words.

-

right now, i don't mind being a spider. i'll spin a web of deceit and lies, and eat my enemies. i'll never let anyone get close enough to hurt me.

and that includes you.

-

I broke through this hollow shell, that once held me so tight, I couldn't breathe
A place to accept you don't exist
Come with me, jump off the edge

the first step to forgetting is destroying all the evidence, i'll burn all the black and white polaroids of the overhanging palm trees, the salty sea breeze. we don't really need to immortalize the moments.
with friends like this,
Who needs subtext?
Sub. Text. Sub. Text.

This is a .44 caliber love letter straight from my heart.

With a gun, make your shot.
Let's hope for better shit.
Christened with a bullet.
I'm losing my patience.

shoot me, and end me right here. *points to ♥*

i still miss hide :( pink hair, visual kei was never the same again. truly an inspiration