despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage

this post is gonna be filled with random notes to self:

1) i am missing cheryl lee shu hui right now. stupiack peeeg, leave us and fly to japan. but dear, enjoy yourself still eh, cos we lurbbbb eu w0rhzxzx. come back and tell me all about the gothic lolitas and sexy asian boys.

2) i'm gonna miss iylia when she leaves for vancouver next weekend. iylia = nicest person ever. but we're gonna get high together soon, my favourite raven rockstar. :) please pack me into your suitcase and drag me to vancouver.

3) please find me a reputable place which does piercings (at a not so high price) for under 16s. i am desperately wanting a navel piercing right now. hehhh. thanks val! :)

4) watching people do tongue piercings doesn't really turn me off them. in fact, i am wanting one right now. even though it hurts fuck damn lot (according to people), and you'll bleed slightly, i'm sure lots of iced water, ice cream and hugs will solve that problem. and me want snake bites :] and a tattoo?

5) ABSTAIN FROM ORAL SEX AFTER PIERCING TONGUE. hahahaha, this really tickles me man.

6) i really should start getting up early, and then try to work my butt off. or else, i'll be stagnant, lazy and fat all day.

7) i miss khairiah, lingyu and deborah suddenly. we should go out.

8) i'm addicted to that song, it's on replay. loop loop loop. stupid bon jovi and his spandex skin tight pants. glam rock is the sex. i wish someone would sing it to me, will keel over, develop epilepsy and have fits, and then spew foam from my mouth like the merlion. and i will love you baby, allllways. and i'll be there, forever and a day. sighhh, what we would do for love.

9) mommy said "don't sleep all day, get up and shit or something. later you become like those people who die in their sleep". i believe she's referring to Wayne Thunder. :(

10) i still don't have tickets for CHMA. chishun mofo, where is it? don't tell me you forgot. spasss. and RFW tickets, and i know there's this over 16 gig at some place, i desperately want to go.

11) i miss dragonforce still lah, the moshpit was fucken crazy, i don't think anyone can beat the wall of death. security guards were so anal. and i'm still hung up about the fact that i didn't get sam totman's autograph. i had to get some other noob to sign on my hand :/

12) HOMEWORK. fook homework, no one cares about stoichometry and all that other crap.

13) i feel like dying my hair an obscene red, like total mOBSCENE cool. and a haircut will do fine, heh heh.

14) i really should go shower, cos i'm gonna be late at this rate. okay, see ya at orchard. and, i'm sorry to cherie for missing out on first part of emerge! cos i'm too lazy to get up. i woke up at 6.30, 6.45, 7.30 and then 10 respectively. looolz, lousy.

{cont}

15) me wants to watch shrek 3. grrrah. made plans to watch shrek 3 after the failed getting up thing. but it was sold out, and so we walked around town like lost souls. ryan, ram and i. peepoo, i found the piercing shop val recommended.

16) it's 1:10am, i need to get up at 6.30am for emerge! 07. anyway, it was VERY impactful to me. i sat in between cassie and cherie, and there were annoying little children in front. i love the songs manzzx, and i prayed for you (: i'm going to have faith that someday a miracle will happen for both me and you. yah lah, i love you & everyone else.

17) red rain red rain! I HAVE NO ONE TO INVITE. :( who wants to come? we'll have a costume party :]

18) i am actually contemplating moving to livejournal. livejournal seems more interesting now. i can make my posts privates and type all those crap about how much i hate so-and-so, and how much i feel like stabbing myself. also, there's this LJ cut thing. i can summarize my whole post, and not force people to read all of them words and vomit blood.

19) fuck, i am feeling sad now >: ( and i shan't type any of those things here. because it's pointless, & nobody cares anyway. it's all gonna be on livejournal/random blog. I THINK.

20) time to sleep.

i am lost, and i am sad. i feel like crap. i think i single handedly butchered everything. all i'm asking is for is another chance. & perhaps God will help me tonight.

i'm stuck, between holding on and losing myself, or letting go and forgetting everything. either way, i still get hurt. and i'm sick of that.

"chainsaw gutfuck"

i seriously hope i do not keel over during service later on. i might actually faint from exhaustion. the prospect looks pretty cool, at least i won't feel anything for a while. i hope.