You never notice how hard I cry.

I don't even know where to begin. I don't really need people scrutinizing my words endlessly, trying to analyse my thoughts and feelings, to file them away in the back of their minds, only to unearth them and then fling them back into my face during a confrontation, demanding explanations and explanations - and more explanations. People look in between lines to find the hidden meanings, when truly, there are none at all. And people think too much. Like how you're reading this paragraph and going: Oh, is this about me?

Well, maybe it isn't. What gave you the notion that it was? Maybe you ought to know, it's not all about you. You're not the centre of the universe. Not of mine, anyway.

There are a select few in this world that I truly care about. I try to go the extra mile for them, even though I may seem like a selfish bitch without a care in this world. Maybe my methods in showing care and concern are all wrong. I do admit, I haven't done enough for anyone of these people. Not as much as they have done for me, anyway. Sorry, and I really wish I didn't care.

Pfft. Some kind of emotional detachment.

Maybe I should just end things here. I don't think anyone wants to hear my shit anyway. Shit goes on the private blog.

*

On Sunday, I met up with Karina at Marina Bay. We wanted to visit random places, actual plan was actually Kranji /Yew Tee/ Red Hill, etc., but I had to go off earlier for a zoo trip, so we decided Marina Bay. We realised there wasn't anything there. No malls, and only a restaurant, I think? Pretty pathetic. Then we met up with Adib to head to Orchard to do random rubbish and waited for Evan at the Hole In The Wall. Then we watched Stardust together, before I met up with Tiffany, Liwenn, Qianyun, LiJie and Khairiah to take the shuttle to the Night Safari. Like fucking random! But I enjoyed it lah. Very ko0lz.

I am making plans to visit the zoo/Night Safari again, because I love animals! :) The trails were a bit creepy at night. We actually intended to complete the second trail, but because we were down to four people suddenly, and Liwenn was going on about how scared she was, which added to the others' fear, I chickened out too. I tried to sound calm and collected, but I was reminded about Karina and Adib's tale about the pontianak in the zoo (even though I don't believe in these spirits!!!). Then we went home earlier than intended cos there was school the next day.

I think extra lessons = pointless. I don't pay attention anyway. Yah, which was yesterday. Monday. Khairiah and I hung out in Cityhall/Bugis. We visited library@esplanade and um, the national library. We stayed till pretty late, and I love libraries. Khairiah is my library partner!!!!! Love love love. Drinking milk tea and laughing at random shit. We picked the same book, such affinity huh. Lololol.

Today was suxxxxshIat. I couldn't wait for chem to end. After that I bade a hurried bye to everyone, and gave Khairiah a big big big big big hug. I spent two lonely hours alone thinking things through, and then went to Q's house to watch The Passion Of The Christ and Grease. Both are good movies.

I wanted to cry during The Passion of The Christ, but Q kept going "I am Tua Pek Gong, hear me ROAR. RAWR!" during certain, almost appropriate scenes (like when Jesus of Nazareth looked serious when asked, 'who do you think you are?' ). I ended up laughing instead. Hmm, not that I've regained my faith or anything.

I love John Travolta! Anyway, the afternoon spent was good. I totally forgot all that shit bothering me. I drank absinthe (rouge) - homebrewed from Germany! Potent shit! It tastes like a bunch of herbs and spices mixed together. I don't know, maybe my tastebuds are weird. And it burns my throat and stomach! And I heard weird stories about this guy who drank seven shots of absinthe and he called up random friends and shouted into the phone "I cannot feel my fingers!" And there was the girl who got drunk, she walked into the sea with all her electronic devices, her cellphone, mp3 player, PDA, and worst of all, her macbook!!! Holy fuck. I laughed.

I drank a Screaming Orgasm. Tastes awesome. ;D

The journey home was a bit screwed up. I hated it. Lawl.

I hate life. I hate this, all people = shit.
Old habits die hard; I'm sorry.