A light turns off inside your heart, can you remember what it's like to care?

I feel like the world's most uninteresting person.

Eck, eck. I don't have any opinions about anything at all, I have no mind of my own.

It's like, standing next to people, I feel so.......unworthy sometimes. I'm ashamed of myself.

It's all coming back!!! It's the start of a downward spiral.

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I'm going to reassure myself I am not dependent on anyone/anything at all. :) I can extract myself (and my heart) -whole - when needed.

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I watched Enchanted yesterday with Lingyu, Cheryl, Halimatul and Khairiah. It's a pretty cool movie, very loveydovey. Makes me want to fall in love too. I've been watching way too many chick flicks, quite irritating actually. I hate how it's all "happily-ever-after" in films. It never seems to be that way in reality.

Welcome to reel life VS. real life.

I want to live in a Hollywood movie as well! Where I have BFFs that are awesome and pretty just like me, I drive my own red convertible and live in a huge ass mansion with a pool, and my own tennis court (even though I don't play tennis). My dog doesn't shit on the couch and he smells like flowers all the time; my father earns big bucks, he has perfect teeth, and eats an apple every single day. My grades don't suffer even though I party too much. My mother was an ex-beauty paegant title holder, she has an IQ of 175. We donate money to a different charity organisation monthly. My boyfriend looks like a movie star, he has a trust fund that can support a third world country for years to come. He's intelligent, sweet, romantic, spontaneous, funny....

I'm getting carried away. I suddenly think perfection is boring. Reading the previous paragraph, I think it'll be boring if everything in life goes my way. It never will, anyway...

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish it would.

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Anyway, as I was saying, it would be fun to watch Enchanted if you're with your loved one. Ok that's all kthxbye.

After that, I left to find Trish and Josh. Josh left soon after, and Mervyn came. We walked to Orchard so I could return my books, then we slacked behind Taka, listening to songs, drinking Carlsberg. It got quite a bit emotional, thanks to sappy Jap songs.

Today was...nothingness. I stayed home. I should start on my homework. I hate my school, everyone is so anal and academic-oriented. Fuck you all, study so hard for what? For your excellent future as a high-flyer with a monthly 5-digit salary? What if you die tomorrow? :\

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I think I'm going to retreat into my hole in the tree. I don't feel very myself today.

I don't feel like anything at all...Can you feel me crying as I type this? I don't think you care.