Incandescent

People break apart in the most peculiar of ways. Some of them tragically beautiful- shattering kaleidoscope style; some very sudden, explosive and messy. I've observed the 'strongest' of lots falling to their knees in resignation and the 'weakest' ones to emerge fully unscathed from tricky situations, plowing through steadily. People aren't always what they seem.

*

JOLYN LOVES JEAN, BIANCA AND VAL. [IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER]
Thanks much, for staying up last night. Jean: meet up for soup and the waxing (wtf haha) soon? Bianca: Trawl Peninsular with me? Val: sitting by the riverside again, very soon...

For now, we will work on getting by!!

*

"How do you arrange your books?"

Gypsy Girl made me tear. I know I should focus on the main story and that the Gypsy Girl is rendered almost irrelevant and insignificant in this entire brouhaha. Still, she made me cry... I think of the carving knife and the petrified oak tree trunks, the days and nights under the green canopy, the stupid returned messages on newspapers dirtying her limbs. Her special flair with snakes and flutes.

Shot down empty promises, half-truths, brutal honesty, 10 years down the road, the made up commandments, Do not change, the desperate wish for real and lasting happiness, the jealousy, You will always be happy, the resignation, the almost accusing tone in her voice, the concealing of emotions and thoughts, How Silly!, the last chance, the last plea - Change, she scrawled in a note, forgetting the most important words: for me, the note fluttered onto the floor, kicked under someone's dress, more drunken feet kicking at it, cleaners cleaning up, into the bin, into a rubbish truck, into an incinerator, like a phoenix going up in flames. Ashes.

Waiting, always waiting. Solitary figure knifed into a grey backdrop of overcast skies and heavy clouds.
Finally, the gates to heaven opened.
Shrapnel. Bombs. Thunder. Running. Torn.

Knife, dull from wood carvings.
Last breath.
Do you even know?

Your heart will keep on beating.

*

I want to hug her and tell her she'll be okay. But it's too late, isn't it?