Letters

You think this is about you, don't you?

* Don't downplay the hurt... I'm here if you need to talk. Even though I can't dish out good advice or console people properly. I have wet wipes, shoulders, arms and alcohol though. Maybe we can pull off a Houdini, if we drink enough.

* Tell me the truth. I can put two and two together (however paranoid I am) and I trust my gut instincts... I think I know what's going on, but I'll wait for you to tell me yourself. I don't want to second guess your actions and motives anymore. The truth might hurt, but I can live with pain.

* On second thought, I really don't want to have anything to do with you right now. Don't tell me the truth anymore. Instead, banish all the motherfucking stupid thoughts bouncing around in my head right now. Better to not know, right? Maybe I won't feel then.

* Maybe they should try putting themselves in our shoes. Is it so important we live the way they want us to? What's wrong with letting loose and having fun once in a while? Aren't there more things in life we can live for?

* Why are you using me like that? Why do I allow you to do it?

* I'm sorry our friendship has to end like that. I haven't spoken to you in ages, and sometimes I wonder if I killed everything with my pigheadedness. Understand that I have too much pride in me to apologize... God, I know I am too anal about things like that. I don't even know the specific word for "things like that". I am so anal about how I should be, it irritates the shit out of me.

* I read your blog and I know you think I hate you. I know you think I'm embarrassed of you, but I really am not. I hope you understand that I can't seem to show my care and concern in any other way. So yeah, cheer up about whatever's killing you inside.

* I wish we could switch roles for a day. I hope when we do, you can understand how cruel you are being.

* Will tomorrow be okay?

* You were the only light I ever saw...However dim it is. I try to act like it doesn't affect me, but it does. I can only hope I am getting better at hiding my feelings.

* Study hard and after all the shit, we'll go barhopping. Our plans by the river will be fulfilled because I will go to Greece someday to see my fill of the exotic Mediterranean. You can find your struggling mime then. :) (Obvious, much?) Cheer up 'cos I lurb euhhh. Always and forever. Remember the Esplanade days after Deafcon! Redbull.

* I think you're getting from bad to worse, and it scares me. You don't seem of sorts lately, and sometimes I find myself babying you too much. Not that I mind taking care of you - you always were there for me. Now I can return the favour I will. Just take care and remember to not work so hard.

* I think we need a really good sound system. Like...I don't know all the technical jargon, but yeah. In a padded room (much like an asylum, where's my straitjacket?), crazy disco lighting, soundproofed. We can play absolute disco shit and dance along. Our wacky, spasmodic dancing. Fireballs, finger pointing. And a bar at the side, with a cute bartender and 49 different concoctions. Invited guests only.

* You're not listening again. I called out to you when I was down and you weren't there.