Run away from you without saying any words, what I don't want to lose is love

Frankly, I feel like an asshole. I'm sorry to people whom I've put off or disappoint.

Watching X Japan videos make me cry, because they're all so sad, even if they're fast paced with frantic drumming and thumping basslines and maniac guitar shredding. Especially so when the camera pans in, and I catch a glimpse of hide with his insane pink hair, outlandish outfits and quirky yellow guitar with hearts emblazoned all over. The funeral videos aren't very helpful either. When you hear Toshi warbling "Forever love, forever dream..." in his shades, trembling like he's gonna break down any second.

I believe hide committed suicide, the doorknob and towel merely tools of convenience. Aiyah, I know, how stupid to hang himself off the doorknob, right? Why not the shower head? Oh, it didn't help that he was hopelessly drunk. But I'm very sure he felt depressed and pained from all the tiresome shit in this world.

Sometimes, even I get tired.

-

Friday was fireworks at the rocks with the world's most awesome people. :] Breathtaking stuff, I swear. I hate having to lug my school stuff to and fro though.

Deafcon5 was awesome, I guess. Awesome music, brutal moshing (wall of death), body surfing (i got lifted thrice or something), and some really serious headbanging.

After it all, went to buy chicken rice, and we sat down on a grass patch in Marina Square, behaving like weird hobos. People stared, which wasn't very nice, you know? And then, watched fireworks again. Breathtaking still. Got a bit sad, because. Especially

Aug 19, 2007

At the rims of the mosh pit, you see these skinny little pre-pubescent boys
flailing their gangly arms in the air and twirling around in stupid circles with
goofy smiles on their faces, then suddenly out of nowhere you see this white
flash and a mess of curly hair charge into the mosh pit, brushing these little
newbies aside to get into the center of the mosh where all the action is,
moshing harder than some self-proclaimed "macho guys" do, and then we realize,
"holy crap, it's Jolyn!"

This goes without speaking, but I'll say it anyway. Jolyn, you kick ass! I
salute you.

P.S. Thanks for looking after my sis!

I swear, this made me smile. Thanks ah, Ken! Hahaha.

This comment cheered me up infinitely.

It's about time I moved on, don't you think? But I miss you love. They said "Never trust that love should see a colour". Just because you love, doesn't mean you'll be loved back. You do not reap what you sow, that's what I've learnt. I wish I could hit pause, rewind and replay. I would skip the goodbyes... How can it all end this way?

Am I wrong to be hurt
Am I wrong to feel pain
Am I wrong to be in the rain
Am I wrong to wish the night won't end
Am I wrong to cry
But I know, It's not wrong to sing The Last Song
Cause forever fades

I feel like crying.

I feel like second best, always. Or maybe, I'm not second best, I'm just "second". To you, to everyone.